The Twisted Childhood Universe (also known as TCU, and absolutely nothing else), has been offering twisted versions of our favorite childhood tales since 2023 with varying degrees of success with its inaugural film, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. Now a new entry joins the franchise in Pinocchio without ropeoffering a bloody version of the puppet who wants nothing more than to be a real boy. If you’ve seen any of the other films and picked up what they wrote, you’ll be treated to a similar portion here (although much more visually appealing).
Like the Creepy franchise, these are the kind of horror films that require a part of your brain to remain dormant – or at least a little fuzzy. We’re not here for interesting stories or thoughtful conversations. We’re here to watch beloved childhood icons wreak havoc as blood splatters on the wall. Pinocchio without rope delivers this kind of mayhem in spades as the young puppet (voiced by Jude-Evan Lloyd) mows down anyone – mostly children, if you’re squeamish about that sort of thing – that could be a threat to his best friend James (Cameron Bell).
Pinocchio is, as usual, created by Gepetto (Richard Brake). However, the means of creating the puppet are not immediately apparent. Gepetto has none of his usual attributes and, in fact, acts as young James’ guardian after the tragic death of his parents. He’s also joined by Cricket (voiced by Robert Englund) but, like the story as a whole, he’s not the consciousness you remember from the stories. Pinocchio Relaxed sure, he fills in the blanks, but those are details best saved for the film.
After a brief but obligatory exposition, the film hits the races. Over the course of 80 wonderfully tight minutes, Pinocchio unleashed seems to be the first TCU film to really understand why its audience is there: a quick base, a bunch of gruesome killings, a paper-thin plot followed by a snappy finale and off you go! They’re not clever films, but they’re certainly creative when it comes to their murderous mayhem.
All the money that TCU has miraculously raked in over the years is on display here. The Pinocchio puppet is the perfect combination of endearing and unsettling, and even the digital Cricket is much better than expected. More importantly, all the kills look flawless. The practical effects featured throughout Pinocchio’s killing spree are all delightfully gooey, leaving the viewer eager to learn how the next bratty kid will wind up offended. One of the sledgehammer hits results in a wound that will scratch if you’re adept at ballistics but, again, that’s a part of your brain best left dormant in this franchise.
Pinocchio without rope sees Rhys Frake-Waterfield return as both director and writer for the first time since the original release, but this time with much greater success than the film that established the foundation of TCU. A tight narrative wraps around a bunch of murders that feel solid enough to forgive the false flames that make an appearance in the third act. Drake-Waterfield and I don’t share anything close to the same sense of humor, but there are plenty of exploitation bits that, while personally exhausting, will delight anyone who enjoys the scandal of it all.
Although I’m generally far from the target audience for TCU’s nihilistic approach to childlike wonder, Pinocchio without rope is undeniably the strongest entry yet. There’s something really refreshing about knowing that previous films made a lot of money and, rather than pocketing it and riding off into the sunset, the team chose to reinvest a good chunk of it back into their project. It would be interesting if the same could be said about their upcoming projects — Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 3 And Poohniverse: the monsters gather — take the same care when it comes to their digital offerings, but no reason to suspect that Frake-Waterfield and fellow producer Scott Chambers will do things differently. If they do, we’ll still have (strangely buff) Cricket.
Movie score: 3/5
